title: Behind my face and above my throat
pairing: woohyun x sunggyu
summary: woohyun is too afraid to fall asleep.
a/n: 2nd person point of view. woohyun is 'you'.
Behind my face and above my throat
it's been about 6 months now.
you can't sleep. you're too afraid to let your eyes close because sunggyu. you have to keep watching him, no matter how bloodshot your eyes get or how they only feel itchier after you rub them with your fingertips.
he noticed, you know he's noticed. how could he not notice?
sunggyu had traced your lower eyelid with his middle finger, just a soft brush of skin against sensitive skin, made you blink along with the motion, made your eye water a little even. he had then kissed you on your cheek, a soft kiss of cold. and his eyes had widened in surprise, and he licked his lips as he stared at you, fingers going to his mouth. and your heart had beat so quickly, you think he noticed he noticed he knows. but then sunggyu's eyes drew down and he kissed your mouth, ignoring the visible shiver that ran down both your spines or the sharp icy pain when your lips touched.
you have to keep awake. you have to keep a w a k...
you blink rapidly and right, he's still there, sunggyu is still snuggled in a ball, blanket pulled up to his chin, hair falling into his eyes, lips a little wet as a sliver of drool threatens to escape from the corner. precious, he's so precious – in ways more than one, to people more than just you.
you wipe sunggyu's lips with the flat of your thumb, you press as gently as you can, but he still stirs and his mouth opens a gap and your thumb swipes over his teeth. his eyes open and he registers you, registers your thumb in his mouth but all he does is kiss the digit and sucks on the very tip just once. and his eyes close again, he rolls over.
you let out the breath you've been holding. you were so close. you want to kiss him right now, you're a little fearful but you want to kiss him. you kiss his cheek instead and purposefully press your slightly damp thumb against the spot you kissed.
stay awake. stay awake. sta y a w a...
stay away! sunggyu's lips were stained with blood. his eyes were bloodshot and stretched owl-like. his breaths were coming up short. he was panicking, and you could feel his panic from the corner of the bedroom. you didn't want to hide, you just wanted him. your tongue darted out and you could taste the blood on your own lips. you could taste it in your mouth, you could smell it, the metallic tang of dead was overwhelming. and it must be worst for sunggyu. he didn't know what was happening. all he did was roll over in his sleep, wake up for a moment just to kiss you, a gentle press. and then he tasted blood and he was yelling and scrambling out of bed.
you take a deep breath and you quickly blink the flashback out of your eyes. you tell yourself to stay calm, stay calm and stay away- no, you meant awake.
sunggyu is still asleep, breathing soundly. you lace your fingers together, carefully place his arm around your waist. you kiss his forehead and bury your nose in his hair. you don't close your eyes even though you desperately want to. you can fall asleep like that and wake up with a sprain in your back and a cramp in your wrist. you have slept and woken like that before, and it was a mistake. because what followed was more blood and more yelling and more what's wrong, woohyun?
it's been 6 months since you last saw your face. sunggyu looks gorgeous, all the time, and sunggyu tells you you look great, all the time. but can you really trust him? he still kisses you like he loves you, he still smiles at you like he knows you, and he still looks at you like you're his everything. so can you really trust him when he says you look all right? you haven't been outside for 6 months, after all. but he says the same thing about you, he said, you always say i'm ok even when i'm not.
sunggyu was, though – he was ok. even if he wasn't, he was going to be ok. but there wasn't a 'even if', because he was okay. and it wasn't you just trying to convince yourself that sunggyu was ok, you genuinely knew that sunggyu was ok. you kissed his lips clean, you kissed his tears away, and you kissed his bruises fine. he was good as new, only his t shirt and the splatters of blood on his face gave away what happened. the newspapers were shredded, the words 'cold-blooded killer' or 'vampire' hardly recognizable. sunggyu hugged you tight, and you knew you wouldn't be safe without him.
you have to keep your eyes open. you're so tired and your mind is shutting down on you till the only sentence you can complete is 'stay awake' and at times, sunggyu's name comes up for no reason. you get so distracted by your thoughts sometimes, that you don't even know you're thinking, and when you shake yourself to wakefulness, you don't remember what you were thinking about, just know that your mind was working something out-
like right now, for example.
when did sunggyu wake up? when did he move? when did he start kissing your cheeks? more importantly, when did you start getting used to the pain?
there is blood on your lips and on your teeth, and there is also blood on his. scarlet drops drip everywhere on the white sheets, and he doesn't care, he continues kissing your face, cleaning you or spreading the blood out, you don't know which. sunggyu mumbles something, tangles bloodied fingers into your hair. you think, goddamn now i have to leave him instead of goddamn now i have to wash it out. you try to pick up what he's saying but the smell is overwhelming, making your heart beat faster and your breaths go sharper. you think he's saying it's ok it's ok it's ok. and you have to stop him, he doesn't know when it's not ok.
so you know it's rough, but you tug his head back by the hair, and you look him in the eyes, and you can see yourself, your reflection, in his eyes; you look all serious and messy-haired and you're scared, maybe, you can't tell if it's your fear or the fear in his eyes. sunggyu's eyes trace a line from the canine-punctures at your bloody throat to your bloodshot eyes, and-
“woohyun, i don't see my reflection.”
now it's just stay.
- fin -