title: Must be your skin that I'm sinking in
pairing: woohyun x sunggyu
summary: a warm bodies au/inspired woogyu fic where sunggyu is the zombie.
notes: Title is from 'glycerine' by Bush.*
or three times sunggyu asks what if he never returns to normal and woohyun doesn't know how to answer
“wh-what if... i n-never re-re-return to normal?”
in the first place, sunggyu isn't sure he's ever been normal. maybe he doesn't know how to act normal. he doesn't mention that all his friends are changing. they smile more and talk more and don't stutter any more. they're becoming so normal so fast that it scares sunggyu, almost makes him mad because how could they just leave him behind?
“i won't worry about that,” the doctor says. “how's your appetite recently?”
“see? maybe your growth is just slower than your friends but it doesn't mean you're not.”
sunggyu glares at the doctor. at least he tries before his facial muscles fails him and droops into this eternal despondent look.
“i d-do-don't look nor-normal!”
the doctor looks up from his clipboard and gazes at sunggyu intently for a moment, it makes sunggyu awkward and itchy. but sunggyu stares back, refusing to feel smaller than he already is. he doesn't like it when people look at him. they keep saying they're not afraid but they are. they don't like standing next to sunggyu, they avoid the empty seat on the train next to him. his friends are getting scared too. sunggyu hasn't changed a single bit and he can hardly hold in his hunger. sometimes he gives in and indulges in raw meat. but it sucks to gobble down the meat in private in his apartment, in makes him feel more of a monster than he already is.
“you look fine.” the doctor says. “listen, i've never been like you and i've never really touched one or cut one up so i don't know anything about your kind. but what i know is that the growth isn't about the science of it all. it's about feelings and emotions and whatever. so if you do want to speed up your recovery, maybe you have to open up your heart or something. because by the looks of you, by your speech pattern, you kind of come off as someone who has a stick up his ass or has some major people issues. but i'm not psychiatrist so...”
sunggyu wants to say a barrage of angry words back. but both his expression and tone fail him.
“no one has t-t-time for oth-other pe-people's bull... shit.” he says.
sometimes sunggyu thinks something tragic must have happened to him because he feels the need to be guarded all the fucking time. technically, he doesn't have emotions. emotions only came in the way when he was trying to feed. recently, he's been feeling though. but they're all the negative emotions. he has never felt happy yet.
“i can make time for you if you want,” the doctor says. “i can't console you or whatever, though. i'm just saying, if you need someone to talk to or to hang out with, you can always call me.” he hands over a slip of paper with a phone number on it. “my name's woohyun.”
sunggyu doesn't tell him he doesn't know how to use a phone. and he misses the way woohyun smiles warmly at him. he only notices the zap where woohyun's fingers touches his palm and can only focus on the image of sinking teeth into warm flesh again.
“what if... i never return to n-nor-normal?”
woohyun looks at sunggyu. “your speech is getting better.”
“i still think of-of... eat-eating you.” sunggyu tries to concentrate on the game.
they're at an arcade although it's after open hours. it's dark and silent. and only because sunggyu is genius at vintage stuff, they managed to plug in and turn on the game they're playing. the game makes beeping noises whenever they move or select something. they're supposed to be in their own quarters, woohyun in his upper-class human villa and sunggyu in his lower-class still-a-monster-you-don't-get-good-beds-
they're playing some vintage-ass maze-bomb game where the sole goal is to place bombs in the path of the other player so the other player will step into it and lose.
woohyun waves his joystick from side to side and punches a button furiously, dropping a bomb right in front of sunggyu's path. sunggyu has noticed woohyun's plan right from the beginning and he calmly moves his joystick to left, maneuvering his character on to a different path before he can bump into any enemy bombs.
woohyun curses under his breath. “have you been spending time with more people like i told you to?”
sunggyu has. he's been trying to find women who would be interested in a monster like him. there have been few who didn't avoid him like a plague. he met most of them at pubs, though, where the lights are dim and drinks are heavy. he didn't feel a connection with any of them.
his friends are human now. their living quarters have been upgraded since. sunggyu misses them badly. but they have new lives now, renewed lives. they can claim back the years they lost to the infection. they deserve it. sometimes they come back to visit sunggyu but sunggyu has no idea what they talk about. they live differently now, after all. sunggyu isn't sure how many are still infected like him.
“i miss my f-f-friends...” sunggyu drops a bomb neatly in front of woohyun's path and woohyun's character loses a life. he has one remaining life.
“yeah, well,” woohyun manages to kill sunggyu's character, leaving sunggyu with one life as well. “i'm your friend, aren't i?”
come to think of it, if sunggyu isn't scouring around pubs, he'll be scouring around pubs with woohyun or coming to deserted places like the arcade with woohyun or woohyun will be going over to sunggyu's apartment, loaning him different dvds or books. they watch the dvds together on woohyun's old dvd player he installed at sunggyu's place. they read together sometimes too. sunggyu reads to woohyun sometimes even though he feels embarrassed about it. woohyun makes him read out loud because it's good to practice, apparently. but woohyun always falls asleep with this small smile on his face and his head on sunggyu's cold and bony shoulder.
“how so?” woohyun asks, face splitting into a grin when sunggyu fails to bomb him.
“you were never... in-in... fected.”
“but so have the women you approach.”
sunggyu quickly dodges the bomb woohyun tries to drop on him.
“but i... i d-don't think about eat-eating other pe-people besides you.”
“you're the-the doctor!”
woohyun's laugh is dry. “i'm doing a shit job, aren't i?”
“b-both at the game and your j... job.”
sunggyu's character stumbles to a deadend and woohyun takes the chance to drop a bomb. woohyun cheers and pumps his fist into the air.
“maybe i should just find another job.” he says, grinning. “one that can actually help you.”
sunggyu wants to grin back because woohyun's grin is seriously infectious. infectious, hah. if only he can laugh. if only he can smile. if only he can do something more, like a grateful smile or a hug. he just sits there and gives woohyun his normal despondent gaze.
he doesn't tell woohyun he's already helped enough.
“hey, if women aren't working for you, maybe you should try the other gender.” woohyun says, shrugging lightly. he doesn't look at sunggyu when he says it.
sunggyu shrugs too. the 'you lose' on his side of the screen flashes in different neon colors.
“what if i never return to normal?”
woohyun blinks and frowns at sunggyu. “is that part of the book?”
they're at sunggyu's apartment again, stretched out on sunggyu's mattress. sunggyu is leaning against woohyun's chest, book in hands and reading aloud to woohyun, who leans his back against the wall the mattress is against.
“no.” sunggyu shuts the book. “i'm just asking you what if i never return to normal. will you still- um-” embarrassment is a new emotion to sunggyu, he's still unused to feeling the flush and his heart beat. “um- you know.”
“you'll never be normal.”
sunggyu quickly leans away from woohyun to cast him a look of disbelief. expressions are something new to him too.
“as in, i'll never treat you like you're normal.” woohyun corrects himself. the shock on sunggyu's face deepens. “i mean, i'll never treat you like you're ordinary because you aren't to me- you know, um, like what oscar wilde said, 'never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary'. i don't want to treat you like you're ordinary- because you're not, not because of what oscar wilde said- ugh.” his grip on sunggyu's wrist is strong. sunggyu is new to this too – this whole thing.
“but what if i never return to normal?” sunggyu repeats.
“i don't know what you're so worried about. your speech is perfect, you have a heartbeat, you haven't eaten me yet-”
“but i still look like a zombie! just answer my question, won't you?”
“well, i don't know...” woohyun shrugs. “i told you about how my parents died, right? there's nothing romantic about the way they died but there's something about the idea of dying together.”
woohyun's father was a military man. he protected the nation from the infected. but he failed to protect his own family. woohyun's mother got infected and she tried to eat him. he shot her in the brain just when she reached his. woohyun thinks his father kind of gave up, actually. he could've pushed her off but he didn't want to. woohyun's mother was always saying she'd die without her husband. her husband always said nothing and just smiled and took her hand.
“yet, i kind of want that. i don't want to die without you, sort of.”
sunggyu's eyes drop to the space along woohyun's neck. he thinks about how perfect a fit his head and that space is, he thinks about pasting his lips to woohyun's neck; he thinks about sinking his teeth into the skin and tearing away the flesh. he thinks about the blood and the meat and then he thinks about the grey matter in woohyun's beautiful beautiful brain. because woohyun is brilliant and clever, his brain would be delicious... he's so rich in memories, full of love and full of adventure, full of people he never introduced to sunggyu not because he didn't want to but because he was afraid to share.
and then maybe woohyun's brain isn't delicious after all. because somehow, over the months, sunggyu discovers everything about woohyun and he'll learn nothing new by eating his brains. and then what's the fun in eating at all?
oscar wilde was trying to tell people not to love someone who treated you like you were ordinary because he knew that people tended to love all the wrong people. sunggyu doesn't think he loves the wrong person. but even if woohyun does treat him like ordinary, he thinks he'll still love him.
sunggyu presses a kiss to woohyun's neck, softly. his teeth graze the skin and woohyun's grip on sunggyu's wrist tightens just a little, not of fear, sunggyu knows, but of some other emotion sunggyu is new and unknown to.
“don't bite me.” woohyun jokes, laughter shuddering into sunggyu's mouth when they kiss.
“you'll taste like shit anyway.” but woohyun's kiss is the single thing sunggyu wants to taste over and over again, probably tastes better than his brain, anyway.